My Father, the Consummate April Fool

This being April Fool's Day, I cannot help but recall my father, Tom Ray. He has long left this Earth, and I wonder if he's found a way to celebrate one of his favorite holidays in the great beyond.

With my dad, every day was April Fool's Day.

But those jokes weren't confined to just April 1st - they occurred all year round. Sometimes somebody in the family was the recipient, while at other times it was a complete stranger. And my paternal grandmother let me know those things began when he was a child. One story that he would insist never happened was him chasing his brother through the neighbor's house with a garden hose on full. Or chopping off my Aunt Margaret's braids and then attempting to glue them back on.

But as he got older (I'd like to say 'matured,' but you be the judge) those pranks settled down into somewhat more harmless things. The word 'harmless' being relative.

One thing in particular sticks out. One of my mother's sisters-in-law, Arlene Dewall, was a home ec teacher at Cleveland Junior High School. And the year I started there, my dad let me know our family was very special in terms of heritage, and to let people know at my new school that his side of the family was part Eskimo. How exotic! You'd think by age 12 I would have figured out not to take everything my dad said as the gospel truth. But no, and so I started passing this tidbit along to everyone who might listen. Aunt Arlene got wind of this, and boy did my mom have as fit! Of course my dad denied everything, just telling her that I had a vivid imagination.

Interesting side note: I learned much later in life that my grandfather, Harvard Ray, had an uncle John who went off to Alaska during one of the gold rushes and was never heard from again. A directory search of Alaska residents shows quite a few 'Ray' families, so who knows. While that doesn't mean my family had any Eskimo genetics, it is an intriguing bit of info. But anyone who would know the truth is long gone. I'm not interested enough to explore genetic testing.

The prank phone calls were the best (or the worst, depending on your point of view). The typical random calls to ask people if their refrigerator was running (better go catch it) or calling tobacco stores to ask if they had Prince Edward in a can (better let him out) of course were run-of-the-mill. Once we ordered pizza for delivery from 3 different places, staggered about 15 minutes apart, for the house next door. And then we hid behind the living room drapes to watch the pizza circus.

But the very best was one night we were eating supper and the phone rang. My dad hated meal time calls, so he had me answer and say, 'Hanson's Whore House.' And being the obedient daughter I was, I did. The voice on the other end paused briefly, and then, 'Um, sorry? What number is this?' I repeated myself. Then the voice said, 'I was told I could reach Tom Ray at this number,.' Laughing, I handed the phone to my dad. He was laughing until the voice informed him it was his boss. End of phone pranks.

Dad, I hope you're laughing it up and entertaining people wherever you are today. Hopefully you haven't convinced someone to pull a prank on Mom.